Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Quotes From My Teenage Diary // Part 1

Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Kirsten blogged about her junior high school diary by sharing some hilarious snippets, and while I have a handful of scattered journals from middle school, my most interesting thoughts and monumental moments came out of high school. Some are funny, some sappy, some sad. I've included some snippets that I don't mind sharing because let's face it, you don't want to see everything in these bound books. You can see Kirsten's post here.

2005:
School is only a place for trends to be followed  and egos lowered.
I'm not using my journal anymore because it smells of Marlboro Man. (written on a crumpled piece of notebook paper and taped inside)
My mom has perfect hands.
I hope I don't die young and they find this "among my possessions" and read it because, never mind.
I am addicted to other people's secrets.
I would love to work in the airport. All the different people relating by location. So many emotions going through each one of them...
2006:
(in Italy...) When we arrived at the Sabatino's we were greeted by the wife who kissed me twice and I felt her coarse grey facial hair against my cheek... She had made lasagna and a stove top cup of espresso with the perfect amount of sugar.
When I go a day without writing, it feels like weeks.
I have a wish buried in me that it will be me he likes.
He saw my abstract art hanging in my room and said, "What does this say?" And I said, "Nothing, it's poor art." Maybe no one in the room heard him; I want that moment all to myself, "Then you're blind."  
I guess college and high school shouldn't mix, though I'd like them to.
He texted me, IMed me, and called me today. I know I'm leading him on, but I never meant to.
Top 8/16/whatever is a ridiculous way to rank your friends.
Most things look better when you put them inside a circle. (written inside a circle)
I went into the living room to ask my dad if I could go to the movies. He said to tell him what animal they were talking about as he blasted Pink Floyd's "Sheep". I said cow. He told me the song was also talking about people. Then he let me go. He stood with a green bottle of German beer in his hands.
My dad said he was also 16 when he got his first tattoo. It hurt more than I expected.  
[He] asked me if I considered myself shy... I told him I try not to be and he said that was a good answer. He then asked if I thought he was shy after I told him what a downfall it is. I said blatantly, "Yeah."
The thing about a car accident is, it makes me want to be in reality even more. I don't want to escape into television or a book... My chest hurts, my breastplate, my upper ribs, those things. I've got a proud seat-belt welt. My mind is all over the place. I'm just glad to be home. Death can just come at you, at any time. It's definite, and yet we doubt it. Where people go in a car accident, there is no speaking. Your mind is doing all it can and nothing at at the same time. Speaking is impossible. 
I got my film developed and the young kid who developed them said he thought it was cool I shot black and white and that he liked them. He thought they were from Warped Tour but I told him there were from the show yesterday, and he said, "A&A?" and I said yeahhh. It was nice to get compliments from strangers. 
[He] texted me at 12:01 am, when I was already asleep, "Does the soft pitter-patter of the rain put you to sleep like it does me." I was surprised... I missed the text. I guess my absence was his answer.
At one point, in the bookstore [he] sat on the floor with a book. It's not that I've never seen it, or done it, but he was so into it. I don't know how long I stood there appreciating the moment. 
He saw I was sad and he said it'll be alright, go home and eat some chocolate. And it's funny because it was just the perfect thing to say. Later he asked what I was doing. Today, I said, I'm eating some chocolate. 

17 comments :

  1. thank you for sharing this. sometimes i feel like my younger version has more wisdom to my now self. - even yes, there were lots of things that i would never ever want anyone else to know :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i feel the same way! i think back then i was conscious of learning from my actions and always reflecting. these days, time goes by so quickly that i sometimes forget to look back and appreciate how far i've come.

      Delete
  2. Your journal-y thoughts are beautiful! You have a lovely voice, even in these private moments and it makes that snap of humor in places show more. I love it!! Clearly, you are a writer. :) Can't wait for part 2!! I have a part 2 coming that is things I need to teach my daughters that I learned by reading my junior high diary. Oh. My.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you kirsten! i really appreciate that! many of these as i was reading them would take me back into that exact moment. i was hoping it would do the same for readers that may have not experienced my memory exactly, but something like it. i'm looking forward to your part two!

      Delete
  3. These are all rather beautiful - I remember feeling similarly about airports, the range of life and experience they contained, and how vibrant that was. Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you! back then, i had no idea how pensive i was and how much all those journals and tidbits of thoughts would mean to me these days!

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. haha thank you lisa! i'm so glad you appreciate it. got any of your own?

      Delete
  5. This is such a beautiful idea! Thank you for sharing your writing with all of us :) so sweet. Can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks melissa! i'm glad it's being well received bc the thoughts and journaling of a teenage girl aren't always so well taken!

      Delete
  6. I was never a journal keeper, but I know even if I was, mine would not have been so beautifully poetic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you emily! not sure how it happened, but even when i look back i am in awe of how lovely some of the things i wrote were.

      Delete
  7. I used to always keep a journal and I really think I threw them all away. They were way too embarrassing!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh trust me, my middle school journal was way more embarrassing than this one! i think in high school i was very much experiencing what many girls in america do. i would love to post my journal in it's entirety, only anonymously of course, so that others can feel like they are not alone.

      Delete
  8. Oh you brave soul. What an eloquent teenager you were! I found all of these fascinating; there are full stories wrapped up in every one of these. And how funny that our children's generation will one day read these and ask, "What is IMing? What is a Top 8?" xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks erin! coming from a writer, i really appreciate that! i too felt like when i was reading these in particular that with one sentence, i would say so much. and omg yes, i definitely had an entry where i was analyzing the strategic placement of a friends top 8, what an awful thing it was! our children will most likely experience some other form of online torture ;p

      Delete
  9. What a brilliant, brilliant idea for a post.....love the quotes you chose.....isn't it a revealing experience to go back and read over what we wrote so long ago? [And, as the comments above wrote, which was also my own first thought....all of the ones chosen contain the seed of a full and wondrous story....mind boggling!]...love the idea, love the post. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

Hygge & Wool + BLOG DESIGN BY Labinastudio